It is now Feb 2013! The beginning of this new year has yielded a surprising turn and welcomed new start. After a year of therapy, medication prescribed by doctor and some well needed life changes , things have changed for the better for myself and my depression. Among one of the most important changes I have made is...embracing the lack of control we really have over our life. We go through life believing we have control over what is happening or what we choose in our life, however it is very limited and what we perceive as control is not. Embracing the lack of that control is rather freeing. I have learned that I do not need to stress over that which I do not truly control. There are many lessons to be learned over that frame of mind.
This year has brought better attitudes to those around me (well most of those around me) who have stopped pushing my buttons and overloading my mind with extreme stress and drama that I am no longer able to handle....making life smoother and so much easier for me to handle. There is still a lot to cover, change, and somehow bring about a better way to communicate, but optimistic toward the future.
In all of that said above , I have also made a stand and brought back my voice. No longer blindly doing what others want me to do , or taking in things that only destroy me I have once again brought out my , what I like to call and have told others, "my inner bitch!", which intimidates some but what do I care? as long as I am doing for myself instead of for others....makes one so much more happier.
I have so much work to do on my anxiety still. Due to situations that occurred during December I had a HUGE set back in that department, however will not let that get in the way of my resolve. I will push past those issues to become whole again...it will just take more time.
So remember if anything you can get out of this post... take this with you...
YOU! have to remember yourself and do for yourself and BE yourself in order to have any sort of recovery and happiness. Don't let anyone or anything type cast you to someone who you could never be and free the person inside you who only wants to live and be happy.
I love your "Inner Bitch". She don't intimidate me one bit. In fact, she brings out that part of me, though I can't say I have a name for it (yet).
ReplyDeleteGlad you're doing better for yourself inside. It's time to bring about some changes outside as well.
You know my situation and how much I desire to change it, but I don't think the time i quite right. Soon. Soon. Good things are coming. I won't say better things, but good things. Seems there is always some kind of trade or compromise. [[[Hugz]]]
I would call it, your "inner bone crusher" :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying that...Means a lot to me. It's been a very long and rough road for me to figure some of these things out. Starting to get head way is a welcomed sight and does make life easier to live and just have fun.