Whispers, Silent, Acknowledgements

There are times in life you have to begin to acknowledge a few things to yourself. Think back to those "Why did I say that?" or "I could have really handled that differently" or even "I am clearly stating this view point, why aren't they understanding what I am relating?" moments and realize how to correct the course for future conversations. I have noticed though...some are incapable of doing so, or just flat out refuse to and are keeping score. I do not agree with score cards or how some blindly walk through life denying half the things in which their own actions caused, which lead to very destructive outcomes. People make life far more complicated than it needs to be by merely denying their fault in situations and regret later down the road of life.

Accountability!! It starts with holding your self accountable to your own actions, first and foremost!




Most situations if not all are a constant pattern that repeats it's self and is left unresolved until that light bulb moment in which you step back, take a realistic view of what just happened, and OWN your part in it! Arguments arise and get out of hand due to the fact both parties do the same thing. Let me break it down some.

A couple sitting in living room watching TV, conversation starts over something which in the whole of life or their relationship means very little, however both the man and woman have a very different view point on this subject.....in begins the argument which will escalate leading to a very heated fight and in some cases has lead to break ups.

Analysis:: The two stopped listening to each other. Went on the defensive. Both shut down communication. Frustration took over in place of logic. Anger over ran all other emotions, and after this....the entire point of the situation got lost and became something alot more than it should have.

• For those reading this I am sure you are saying or thinking, "Oh I suppose you don't do this, what makes you an expert." and a few more choice things. I will be the first to admit I have done this, and I am not so much an expert as I am a person who has sat back and destructed what happened , educated myself and am trying to communicate the correct and more healthy way.... I am merely giving my view and advice to those who will take it in honest attempt to help themselves. 

Both men and women need to think more consciously about the way they communicate. Both are just as equally guilty of destroying each other in conversations and in affect the connected emotions. Think to your self and ask which is more important. The point you are trying to make, or your partner in which you are effectively giving them the feeling , you either don't respect them or care about or even conceive their intelligence ? In the conversation this may not be what you are trying to convey however is going to be how it is taken. 

In a perfect world it would be nice to state your opinions or views and your partner understands and either agrees or disagrees however this is not reality. Knowing this, at times, you may have to adapt and readjust how you will enter the conversation or just merely choose to divert a situation which you already know will end up in a angry mess leaving both frustrated and emotionally hurt. 

• Therapists will tell you to analyze and work together to be able to state each others views and not have negative responses which fuel the pattern. Learn that respect that is needed and cherish the differences. 

Now realistically -- That will almost to never happen, especially if you being the couple aren't even in therapy, and attend sessions weekly. 

Men and women do think differently and understand things differently. Men are more systematic, women more emotional. Women are hardwired to see not only her side but her partners and intelligently process and express a view point taking in consideration for her partner. Men do not. Most often times will take what your saying key words in any given statement, as being,  in effect calling him "stupid" or "ignorant" "he couldn't possibly know" which you are not.

Men get defensive , women get emotional before you know it ... you are having a battle of something that was never said and or even thought of....

Learn communication -- Learn to listen --  Be able to adapt --- and compromise , all these things are extremely important for the relationship to survive!